Summertiime, and the livin is getting crazier

When I left off we were heading to eastern South Dakota I believe. It's a good thing I have short legs as with the table in the back, my seat had to be pushed as far forward as possible. We arrived in Brookings where Pam pulled my wedged in body from the front seat, dropped me off and headed to Estelline to see mom. I believe that was on a Monday, the 15th of June. I worked a couple nights and then we left on Thursday, the 18th for Wisconsin.

Now I've taken a few long drives with mom, many more than Pam and have at times pointed out to my siblings that it can be a challenge driving with someone that has been called a "back seat driver" a few times in her life, alias, MOM. My sympathy level for dad always increased as we would pile into a car and begin a "fun filled" day of "allow me to read every road sign to you". I always thought that was our version of the alphabet game or I spy game on our travels. We always reached our destination though and I'm sure that was because of the back seat driver's directions. After one very stressful drive, when I couldn't take it anymore, she informed me that "I thought it was my job" (to read the road signs, etc.) when I tried to make her aware that if one can't read road signs, one shouldn't be behind the wheel of a vehicle. Since then our travels have been easier, as I realized it wasn't me she was criticizing, it was my driving and it was after all her job. After a few glances sidways from Pam I thought to myself, aha, she's now realizing that maybe there's some truth to my occasional rantings and I'm really not as emotionally unbalanced as she used to think when I would vent to her about driving in the car with mom.

We stayed in Woodbury, MN with Heather, Steve and girls on Thursday night. We were greeted with a welcome Gramma Cathy, Great Gramma Jeanne and Aunt Pam sign on the driveway. Spent the night visiting and going for a walk which felt pretty good after all the sitting the car. Mom got a new hairdo and I got a much needed trim. We left for Wisconsin on Friday to reach Peshtigo by Saturday so mom could attend her 65th class reunion.

As we left Woodbury, the back seat driver said we just stay on this road all the way to Peshtigo. Being the obdient daughters we are, we just said okay and did as we were told. After reading every road sign, telling me how fast I was going and also what the speed limit was, letting me know when there is a car ahead or behind me and also if there was a stop sign or stop light ahead, I wondered why she was allowing her vision impaired daughter to get behind the wheel. Oh, wait a minute, my vision is fine, maybe it's my hearing I should lose as it would make the trip more enjoyable.

I do love my mother very much, and at the risk of creating a "ya-ya" moment I just seem to "have issues" as my great niece Kaia would say. My "issues" are that I am a responsible driver and it's a good thing I have the patience of a saint when behind the wheel and traveling with my mom or one of us would not survive our trips together. I've been single for 23 years (so most of the time I have been in charge of getting myself and family from one place to the other) I'm not sure how it is that I've been able to maneuver a motor vehicle all that time and reach my destination over and over again. Miracle I guess. I really think we should have video taped the whole vacation and could have made a movie entitled "driving in cars with mom".

As I said before Mom's class reunion was in Peshtigo which is on the north part of Green Bay. We also had planned to go to a wedding in Plover at the end of the week. Plover is quite a bit south of Peshtigo and Woodbury is pretty much directly west of Peshtigo. Imagine my confusion when I saw a water tower that had PLOVER written on the side of it, after all we had taken the direction/road that the back seat driver had said to. I've already noted that I do have quite a bit of patience so it wasn't really an issue to me that we had gone out of our way, but there's something about not being on the right road that just turns my mother into a not so mild human being and her polish temper flares a bit. Having known this I was shaking as I noted that I thought maybe we weren't in the right place or possibly we had arrived a week early for the wedding.

We stopped at a conveniece store and it was a big one, which was convenient for me because I more or less walked around avoiding the back seat driver until I thought she had cooled down abit. It worked and then I noticed her talking to the clerk. Thank God I hadn't been there to hear her tell the clerk that her daughter had gotten us lost, because I'm quite sure that's how the conversation went.

We got back in the car and headed north for about 20 minutes until out of no where appeared a sign full of bling and glitter and I could see the reflection of all that bling in both my mother and sisters eyes. Thank you God, I was off the hook as I could redeem myself by suggesting we stop, as I know that would calm mom and Pam would also enjoy it. I was right, they both seemed to smile as we pulled in the Casino lot. Our luck would certainly change, well at least mine did. Just so you know, I don't really like to gamble, if it were the only form of recreation in the world, I still wouldn't like it. But when I'm in a casino I usually spend a couple bucks, and I mean a couple. I think $10.00 is the most I've ever put in during an evening and that was because someone else gave me the money. I spent $5.00 and took out $65.00. I quit so pretty much walked around people watching while both mom and sis squandered a bit more $$$$$ and left with a bit less.

NOTE THE GLEAM IN THEIR EYES TO THE RIGHT!!!!!! Or, maybe that was the bacardi, I'm not sure, I'm just glad we were all still speaking at this point anyway.

Now that mom was calmer we could continue our journey and reached my aunt's lake home in the early evening. We had stopped to get a few groceries only to find the cupboard and frig stocked with everything we would possibly need by my cousin Judy. What wonderful hospitality. We enjoyed a delicious freshly caught fish dinner courtesly of Judy's family and retired for the night.

More at at later date.....the reunion, the farm, more back seat driving, golfing, swimming, the wedding, the motor home, some back seat driving, the 10 minute wedding transformation, the cemeteries, the HOT weather, the cousins, the aunts and the eventful trip home.....and hiway 10!!!

Read more...

Summertime, and the livin is crazy

It seems like I've been in a car more than anywhere else in the past 2 months.

On June 6 I flew to Albuquerque, NM to visit my sister Pam who lives in Zuni, NM. She is employed in the school system in New Mexico. After a visit with my cousin's daughter Marissa and friend Cher, we took off for Zuni. It started raining as we left to drive the 2 hour drive to Zuni and the rain seemed to follow us the entire summer. The picture at the left is a short distance from Pam's home. Very pretty. Reminds me of the Black Hills.

After a tour of the area, very short, we decided to hit the road for South Dakota. First stop was Santa Fe which we found to be quite beautiful, although we were up at 6 am and nothing opened until 10 am. We decided not to stick around and traveled north. We stopped in Las Vegas, NM at a little coffee shop and enjoyed the local gestapo enjoying pulling someone over every 20 minutes for over an hour. At least we weren't one of the lucky ones, although I'm not sure how we avoided it because there wasn't that much traffic.

Traveled on to Boulder, CO and Pam spent the night with her son Jason and my son-in-law Destry came and picked me up to take me to Longmont for the night. Very short visit with Jason as he had to leave for school, got to see his sons and wife and enjoyed the short visit. Couple of cute kids and so well behaved.

Got to Angie's and she was at boot camp. She recently moved and after a tour of the house we visited, it was so good to see her and Destry and the house is just what they needed, very comfortable. This was also a very short visit as we had to meet Pam around noon the next day to continue on to SD. Oh, and it rained while we were there.

When we finally got to SD we headed to Blackhawk to spend the night with Pam's son Paul and family. Got to meet all the kids and they had a nice spaghetti supper for us. Haven, Paul's 7 year old daughter and I were outside hitting the ball and guess what, it started raining. Once again. Oh, by the way, Paul's kids are all adorable, so darn cute, especially Soyer, the 7 month old, what a smile.

The next day we visited a friend of Pam's who I must say was very colorful and seemed to be having a bit of drama in her life. Originally Pam had planned to stay with her for a night, but plans change. While we were there it started raining.

Left for Rapid to spend the night with our Aunt Mary Bernadette and Uncle Ken. Really had a nice visit, a little wine and dined on tacos if I remember right.

We got to have lunch with sister-in-law Nancy and her granddaughter Chloe while in Rapid. Pam, Toni and I met them at Olive Garden, it was a great meal and we laughed so hard Pam had a slight accident, at least I think that was when it started.

She really needs to get some depends or a sling or something. (Actually we had laughed so hard at times on our trip that the depends thing would have come in handy many times.) Nancy still looks like she did in high school, not a day older, and Chloe, what a beautiful girl. And talk about personality, WOW!!!!! Does she get that from her mother??? I remember Marie being pretty quiet and shy, anyway we had a wonderful lunch and again, lots of laughs. And we learned to act surprised when we got our pix taken, so I tried it the rest of the trip and I don't think the look on our faces on most of the pix would be considered surprise, not sure what I would call it, more like "oops I just passed a little gas" but certainly not flattering. SURPRISE PAM!!!!!! Her camera didn't work most of the time but mine was always ready for a shot.

Off to Toni's for the night. Kaia was busy getting ready to go spend the month with her dad. It's just amazing what a beautiful family we have. All so wonderful and attractive and fun and unique. And so far we'd only seen about 1/4 the family we would eventually encounter on this trip. We spent a night a Toni's and visited with Jason's oldest daughter Hailee, and I haven't seen her since she was about 10 maybe, not ten anymore. Almost grown up now and I really enjoyed visiting with her. Had a great supper with Hailee, Toni and Dakota and something sweet and fattening for breakfast. Thanks for the wonderful time Toni, Mary B and Ken, Paul, Ang and Jason so far.

Back to Mary B's for a short visit and then off to pick up a 7 foot table (to the left) because apparently we didn't have enough stuff in the vehicle, it barely fit but it managed to make it back to Zuni eventually, and it really was pretty.

More on the crazy summer and the rain and more relatives and more relatives and more pictures and lots laughs and then let's get serious, but not really. Just a little bit more of a storm to add to our summer.

by the way......

There's much more to come. Watch for more pictures of the crazy summer on my photostream

Read more...

just musing

What a beautiful day. It's 7:30 and still 55 degrees, much nicer than the minus 2 degrees it was last week. The days are getting longer and it won't be long before spring is actully here. Can't wait. I finished my other shutters, kind of like how they look on the wall. Bought some more to start on so wish me luck.

Spent part of last week in Woodbury with Heather and the girls. Children just amaze me. I know I had 5 of my own but it just seems that the second time around, when you get to actually spend time with the grandchildren it's a whole different feeling. For one thing, you're more patient, another is that everything they say is cute (even if it's not so cute to mom and dad) and the constant questions and search for answers doesn't seem as irritating as it did when it's your own children.

Maybe that's just me but I have a hunch most grandma's feel the same way, either that or I was not a very good mother. But, spending time with them also brings back memories of special times you spent with your own children. The long walks with them, picking up rocks to bring back for our rock garden, throwing rocks into the river and picking wildflowers are just a few of the many outdoor experiences we had.

Living in a very secluded area in eastern South Dakota, the memories of spending time outdoors with my kids are among the best memories I have.

When I got back home Jaden and Logan spent Saturday and Sunday with me. We went to the park cuz when it's nice out grandma just has to be outdoors. Then returned home and watched a movie. This morning Jaden challenged me to a game of playstation football, boy am I bad. Had no idea what I was doing and I apologize to the Packer team for such a poor showing. Guitar hero was next which I am a little bit better at. Of course I was taking the easy route and Jaden tried a little more advanced modes. He still beat me most of the time. All the while Logan, the resident artist was drawing many pictures for everyone.

Watched "The Women" with Heidi in the afternoon, good movie.

And at 3:05 my phone rang and it was work asking if I forgot to come in. Oops, I had signed up for an extra shift but forgot to write it on my calendar. Made the rest of the weekend real short because I worked from 3:30 pm until 9 am the next morning. Then back again at 5 pm until 9 am Tuesday. Guess I'll have most of my hours in for the week by Wednesday. Yeah!!

So that was my week.

Now it's time to read abnormal psychology, will let you know if anything interesting comes out of that reading.

For now, have a great day and hope to be back before the week is up.

by the way.....

by clc

what do you think of that by line, used to be my dads, only it was by mrh, always has a special meaning so will probably use it once in awhile.

More later.....

And Pam if you're reading this, remember I G..A..S love ya

Read more...

Hey, I'm Back

Hi all,

Long time no write... I don't even know what my excuse is, but whatever I come up with I'm sure it will be the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God.

I decided that the reason it's been non stop snowing is because my last blog says 'it's snowing' and since I haven't written since then it didn't know it was supposed to stop. So hear this weather, 'It's spring', let's see if that works.

I'm back in school, taking two classes that I really enjoy and have been doing some re-creation of stuff, finally purchased a good printer and have been printing pictures and doing some painting.

I recently moved into an apartment and if you've ever rented before you know it's unusual to be able to paint the walls in apartments. They are usually pretty bland. Not exactly liking the stark whiteness and knowing it would take some pretty big art work to break up the wall I had to use the old right brain and come up with something affordable to brighten up the place.

First step was to go to the habitat restore where others bring discarded objects for resale in which the profits go to building habitat homes. I found some old grey shutters for $3 apiece. I purchased four of them thinking that would definately break up the white wall in my living room area. The picture above shows two of them that I have fininshed and am working on the other two. The entire project cost me around $13. Not bad for an original piece of artwork. Even if the artist is currently unknown.

My re-creating is something I've been thinking about and have dabbled in previously but with the economy the way it is I'm thinking it might be my future. Making old stuff into something new certainly has it's advantages financially and also uniquely. Kate's creations will definately be original."

So if you or anyone you know has objects de'art sitting around taking up space, let me know, I'd be happy to make them into something new and unique for you.

I am also painting on some tiles, will have pictures of those later but if you have a favorite saying and would like to have it displayed on your desk, wall, or kitchen counter, let me know and also your decor for the room and I will create an art piece with the words you want to be reminded of daily.

I also bought a couple old dirty, not very attractive lamps at the restore and turned them into art deco lighting for my living room and bedroom.
So between school, working full time at the domestic abuse shelter and being creative, I've been pretty busy.

Of course the best part of being back in Brookings is spending time with all my family and catching up with friends that I hadn't seen for a year.

Have a few birthdays to catch up on and now that I'm back those blogs will be written soon. Actually three grandchildren and two sons, two sisters and a brother have celebrated birthdays since November. I guess it won't be hard to come up with some interesting stories for those special days.

But for now I think I'll leave you with this food for thought, "You were born an original, don't die a copy", good advice for everyone but especially for young people.

Have a great day and will be back soon, hopefully before it snows again.

Read more...

It's Snowing

Good Morning everyone!

Actually it's almost noon and there are tiny snowflakes falling out of the sky, I heard it may happen but I'm still surprised and a little excited. I did hear that it would be nice for Halloween though so that's good.

This is my last week of work at the Casino, words can't address the relief I feel. It has been quite an experience living up north but am very happy to be moving back to civilization. I've enjoyed the time spent at Ruttgers but the Casino experience is a whole different ballgame. Very depressing, very sad and just mind numbing. And since I worry abou the mind numbing thing anyway I think it is a good choice. I have three nights left, yes nights. I work from 4:30 pm until 1:00, not good hours for an old fart like me. I don't sleep well when I get home, therefore it's hard to get up in the morning, just not good for me.

Will be packing up this week but right now I'm going to go for a walk in the falling snow. Will write more later, love you all,

Katie

Read more...

wonderful weekend

Traveled to South Dakota last Wednesday. It was so great. I got to see almost everyone that I wanted to. My mom, Mark and Nancy, Abby, Logan and Jaden, Chris and Krit and Jared and Laurie and Chellie and Gramma Oni. Also saw Matt, Lisa and kids, watched Mahyle play volleyball.

Spent some time painting Jared and Laurie's basement, playing with the grandchildren (fun, fun, fun), decorating for Halloween and visiting.

Played a little basketball with Jaden. I thought I'd go easy on him, but when he beat me at horse three times in a row, (after the first time I really was trying) I started to wish I had my daughters' skills. Anyway he finally said "how bout if we just play pig", we did and he beat me at that too. Then he suggested "how about "it", maybe you can beat me then", I think I did win that one. He's a pretty good player and seems excited about playing.

Logan is in Pre-kindergarten and preschool and his teachers are Mrs. Hausman and June. He says Mrs. Hausman is his favorite. Of course having your great aunt for your pre-K teacher has to be kind of special, right Lisa??? He wrote his name for me and was very excited to draw circles, rectangles, squares and rectangles for grandma.




Then there is Abby. What a character. She will be 3 on Christmas day and talks non stop at times. Jared told me that they are trying to get her to stay in her room all night. Said it's going pretty well. One night after they were all in bed she was putting them to the test. "Dad can you year me?" No answer, "can you hear me mom?" still no answer. "There's a monster in my closet, did you hear that?" I can only imagine how hard it was to stifle the giggles after that one. She has the curliest blond hair and the biggest blue eyes that just melt dad's heart.

I also got to talk to Mike's Nancy, it was her birthday, Happy Birthday Nancy, Thanks for the pictures.

My friend Chelli came out to the house to see me and brought me a delicious scone also, it was just a great time. We seem to be able to just take up where we left off, I'm so glad to have her as a friend. It was so nice to see you Chelli and thanks for the scone.

On my way back home I had a job interview in the cities so got to see Heather, Steve, Tatym and Autymn also. Both girls seem to be enjoying school. Pretty scary web on the front of their house, must have been an enormous spider that spun that one. I just figured out that if you click on the pictures on my blog, they open up larger and you can see them better if you choose, then just back arrow and the blog is back, pretty cool. If you do that with this one you can see the web on the house.


The job is exactly what I 'm looking for so say a prayer if you will that it turns out positive.

Then I got back to work and was told I was suspended. Nice!!! Someone was supposed to tell me that I had to be fingerprinted again, but no one did. Anyway it wasn't a big deal, just had to go get them done again (although not sure why because the guy that did them said the machine wasn't working so I'd probably have to have it done again), have to carry a paper around with me that says I am legal to work so they don't kick me out. Everyone please say a prayer that I get a different job soon, please.

The leaves have really changed since I left last week. I spent 3 hours yesterday on my way home from Ruttgers taking pictures. The scenery around the lakes is breathtaking. Makes the drive very enjoyable. This picture was taken by one of the many lakes in Minnesota. If you know of anyone looking for a nature photographer, let me know because I think many of my photos are pretty good. Think I got the eye for a good photo from dad. Thanks dad, mom called earlier and said she would tell you hi. Sure hope they get better service in Estelline soon so she doesn't have to sit in the cemetery to call us. Said she called all her kids and 3 didn't answer. Shame on you Pam, Mike and Pat, better call her back. (ha, ha) It's a little chilly in the morning, was 41 here yesterday morning. Got up to about 65, much the same today.

Hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful fall weather.

More to come later ........

Have a great week!!! Don't forget to stop for a moment each day and just do nothing. It is so good for the soul. Don't think about anything, don't worry about anything, don't stress, just breathe. Find a place in nature that provides calmness to your being and breathe, breathe, breathe. It makes your day so much better.


Lilkate

Read more...

Stop the abuse

I heard it again recently. “That’s just how things were” when discussing abuse of children. Like it was okay because they didn’t know any better. Who the hell are they talking about? Is there sexual abuse in every family? I have a hard time believing that. The idea that it was done in the past and hasn’t hurt anyone so it’s not that big a deal is preposterous.

In whose world is it all right to take the innocence from young children for a perverted adult’s pleasure? Where is it written that because you are a child you are required to provide sexual pleasure to those who God entrusted to love you and care for you?

Sometimes I feel as if I’m living in a science fiction porno drama filled movie. The idea that no one is harmed when small children are used as property is heart breaking.

Move on, forgive and forget yada yada yada. For many that is how to survive. I have forgiven, but I will never forget. It’s when people choose to forget that the cycle continues. Just because I talk about what happened doesn’t mean it is controlling my life. My fear is that if it isn’t discussed, it will continue.

That must be what has happened over the years if people truly believe “that’s just how it was”. It happened, you forget it, you move on.

Guess what it happened, you never forget it, you move on and somewhere, somehow it will haunt you and future generations as long as people go through life moving on as if nothing happened. After all, it was instrumental in making you the individual you are today.

Before the memories of abuse came back to me, I was very nice. Extremely nice, always trying to please everyone, never wanting anyone to not like me. I was submissive and depressed, very depressed.

At first when I remembered, I was so very angry, at times hysterical, close to suicide. I then wanted to talk about it, maybe to figure out why it happened, why I didn’t remember, why I was feeling so guilty, but no one wanted to listen.

Someone very close to me told me one day “I don’t like this new Cathy”. I was finally thinking about me instead of others all the time. Not that I still didn’t care about others, I always have and always will but I had a great need to find out what happened, why I was the person I was, why I was always hurting inside.

This caring individual was more like the “Queen of denial”, if you don’t think about it; it never happened kind of person. She was the one I called when the memories surfaced. She was the one I needed and she tried so hard to be there. For a long time she tried, but then the familiar, just forget it and move on.

Don’t let them control you, she reminded me again recently of that. Like I don’t know, like I can’t figure it out that if I never thought about the abuse I could almost pretend it never happened but it doesn’t work that way unfortunately.

I don’t dwell on it, many days I don’t even think about it. However, when I hear someone say, “That’s just how things were” or when discussing domestic abuse, “she must be getting something out of it or why would she stay”, I get livid. That mentality is what continues the awful cycle of abuse, whether it is domestic, sexual, psychological or physical.

At one point in time, a co-worker and I were talking. I shared her with her what had happened to me and her response was, “I’m sorry that happened to you”. And she listened. That’s all. How I needed that. Thank you Jacki for that, I’ll never forget it.

Abuse comes in many forms and until society figures out that ABUSE OF ANY KIND IS WRONG, SHOULD NOT BE TOLERATED, there will be those who say, “That’s just how it was”.

My usual answer is “we used to travel by horse and buggy, but found a better way and we changed how we travel”; the same is true of how humans should treat others. There is a better way. If you choose to believe it's okay because that’s how it’s been then give up your car, indoor plumbing, designer clothing or clothing at all for that matter. Give up your house, your RV, your boat and go back to living how it used to be.

See if that makes you change your opinion.

Another day, another blog … just had to be said

Next one will be more uplifting, I promise….

Lesson for today ….

Sometimes listening and saying “I’m sorry that happened to you”, is all that’s required. And a hug always helps!

(to clarify, those who abused this author were no relation to her)

Read more...